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Best Non-Romantic Movies

It’s that time of year again for rom-coms and heart shaped nom-noms. But for those of us who don’t have that special someone to Netflix and chill with, there is nothing better than reminding yourself how crappy love can be sometimes. It’s fair to say most movies provide an unrealistic expectation of love, these are some ANTI-love movies where happy endings really aren't a thing.


The Butterfly Effect (2004)

When Evan (Ashton Kutcher) realizes he had the ability to go back into the past, he decides to use that power to improve his loved ones' lives. The more Evan tries to make things better, the worse they get. Which ends with him having to make the ultimate sacrifice to save the ones he loves.


Legally Blonde (2001)

When Elle Woods (Reese Witherspoon) gets a wake up call from her jerk boyfriend (Matthew Davis) who thinks she is "too blonde" to marry, she decides to work harder to get him back. But along the way, Elle discovers there is more to love than looks and truly finds herself in this hilarious comedy.


Get Out (2017)

In this Jordan Peele (Writer & Director) production, a seemingly happy couple Chris (Daniel Kaluuya) and Rose (Allison Williams) go to visit Rose’s parents in the small town they are from. After which, Chris realizes (far too late) that he is in a town of white supremacists who brainwash African-Americans into being their slaves. Chris has to get out of this situation any way possible. But can he trust anyone?


Donnie Darko (2001)

“What if you could go back in time and take all those hours of pain and darkness and replace them with something better?”

Donnie Darko (Jake Gyllenhaal) is very intelligent, but struggles with mental illness. After he conveniently escapes a freak accident that occurs when he should have been in bed, his imaginary friend (Frank the giant rabbit) guides him on a crime spree. When he meets the girl who would become his world, he learns from Frank that the world will end in 28 days. Do you believe in time travel? This movie will leave you questioning reality.


500 Days of Summer (2009)

“This is a story of boy meets girl, but you should know upfront this is not a love story.”

Tom Hansen (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) falls head over heels in love with the emotionally unavailable Summer (Zooey Deschanel). After being reminded by his little sister (Chloȅ Grace Moretz) that Summer was not the one, Tom starts to realize the emotional ferris wheel Summer has been taking him on all along. (Yes, I cried on this one.)


Gone Girl (2014)

Nick Dunne (Ben Affleck) is happily married to the perfect woman, Amy (Rosamund Pike). But on their 5 year anniversary, Amy goes missing. All signs point to Nick and things continue to get worse for him. After all, it is always the spouse. But is his wife even missing? This mystery/thriller will have you on the edge of your seat wondering what the truth is for two and a half hours of pure enjoyment.


Kill Bill Volume: 1 (2003) & Volume: 2 (2004)

If you haven't seen Kill Bill at least once, what are you doing with your life?! Quentin Tarantino’s 4th film follows The Bride [NAME REDACTED] (Uma Thurman), on a quest for redemption for her murdered husband and unborn baby killed. Who of course were murdered by her old crime boss, lover and (SPOILER) father of the unborn baby, Bill (David Carradine). She must face many old friends who are now foes; as they were all involved in one way or another. But is she creating new vengeances along the way? Quentin Tarantino never fails to bring the action/violence, but this movie in particular is all hand or sword traditional Japanese Samurai style fighting, which makes it so captivating.


Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)

“How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot? The world forgetting, by the world forgot. Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. Each prayer accepted and each wish resigned.”

When Joel (Jim Carrey) and Clementine (Kate Winslet) relationship seemingly goes bad, Clementine decides to have the memories of Joel erased and vice versa. Did Clementine voluntarily erase her memories, or is there something more sinister at play?


Promising Young Woman (2021)

When a med student is raped on film and later kills herself, her best friend

Cassandra (Carey Mulligan) tracks the men who were never prosecuted (or even considered) down for her own revenge. She meets a man along the way (Bo Burnham), but is he like all the rest? You will never see the ending coming in this fast paced crime/thriller “love” story.


Enough (2002)

“You have a divine animal right to protect your own life and the life of your offspring.”

Jennifer Lopez takes us on a wild ride as she plays Slim Hiller, an abused wife and mother of a young girl. Her abusive husband, Mitch (Billy Campbell) , is extremely persistent and continues to track her down and hurt her wherever she hides. Slim decides there is only one way for all of this to end, attack.


Road Trip (2000)

When Josh (Brekin Meyers) accidentally sends a sex tape of him cheating to his long distance girlfriend, he and his college friends (Sean William Scott, Paulo Coztanzo and Dj Qualls) embark on an 1,800 mile road trip to Austin, Texas to get the tape before she sees it. The laughs never stop in the raunchy comedy, as these broke college kids find their way across the country.


John Tucker Must Die (2006)

When three of John Tucker’s (Jesse Metcalfe) high school girlfriends all realize they are dating the same serial-cheater, they devise a plan to make him undateable with his new girl, Kate (Brittany Snow). Will Kate be able to go through with destroying John Tucker or will level headed Scott (Penn Badgley from YOU) help her have a change of heart? This nom-traditional rom-com will have you laughing throughout the film.


Alexander Williams

Goof Writer


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